


The Meaning of A Dream

by Mystical_Cupcakes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Dreams, M/M, more tags as chapters come, whats new tbh lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-05 21:47:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1833394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystical_Cupcakes/pseuds/Mystical_Cupcakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's dreams were about Castiel. While Dean would openly admit he had chosen one attractive vessel, he was still a friend. It wasn't as though he was fully appalled to be with a man, it's just that Cas was an important part of Sam and Dean's lives. He couldn't risk thinking about- </p><p>But his brain didn't mind the risk dreaming about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

One weird, out-of-blue dream about getting too friendly with your best pal is normal. Awkward, but nonetheless normal. Dream interpreters say that it just means you have great respect for them and it holds no hidden meanings other than you need to get yourself a date. 

But how 'bout two dreams? What does that imply? Does it hold true to its innocent intentions or does it mean you want something more? Try several. That's bound for trouble. 

For the past few months this is what's been eating away at Dean. 

Dean's dreams were about Castiel. While Dean would openly admit he had chosen one attractive vessel, he was still a friend. It wasn't as though he was fully appalled to be with a man, it's just that Cas was an important part of Sam and Dean's lives. He couldn't risk thinking about- 

But his brain didn't mind the risk _dreaming_  about it.

He had been sneaking onto Sam's laptop and researching what those dreams meant, but he knew. He  _knew._ It was a matter of whether he can trick himself into thinking it was nothing. 

He couldn't act natural around anyone. He threw himself into his work. Finding cases left and right. Not hesitating on taking a road trip across the country and just going. 

It got to the point that they began running low on challenging cases that were worth their attention. So instead of jumping into the impala as soon as Sam said, "So get this", Dean started to offer more help researching. 

But Sam was his brother and could tell when something was wrong.  Dean usually hated research. He spent most of the time complaining, saying they should be doing more hands-on work and interviewing rather than looking at dusty, old books. He suspected something was up. However, he said nothing of it because as close they were, they had their secrets. 

So as the nights passed, Dean would get more and more worried about the truth hidden beneath his dreams. 

 This first night was as innocent as can be. It was romantic and loving, not intense and passionate one would assume when somebody says they had a dream about a person. A grade-school romance would be the best comparison.  The first dream had occurred a few months ago.

_Dean was sitting in Bobby's house, which also happened to be the bar that Jo and Ellen owned. It was odd. Nothing was really clear, it was only what he could remember. The rug from Bobby's living room was there along with the fireplace and all of his bookcases. The bar and pool table from Harvelle's Roadhouse were there too. The bar must have been open because he saw a man sitting in furthest stool drinking something, but he couldn't really see it in the haze of the dream._

_He was lounging on the couch drinking a beer.  When Castiel fluttered in. He appeared next to the pool table on the left where they found Ash when Sam and Dean first met him. _

_Castiel  walked toward him as the setting faded away. They were in the house from that alternate universe where that Padaleski actor lived. Dean was sitting on the plush, leather couch as Cas was still making his way over as if nothing had changed._

_He sat down next to him. For some reason, Dean's heart leaped. Cas scooted close to _Dean, so close their thighs were touching. He grabbed Dean's_ hand that no longer held his beer. Cas intertwined their fingers, gently brushing his thumb over Dean's. Dean looked down and watched their hands, perfectly fitting together.  _Dean studied how his freckled hands contrasted with Castiel's, how their hands crinkled into each other, how Cas was rhythmically stroking Dean's thumb with his own.  For a moment they sat in peace, ignoring their surroundings.__

_He looked back up to see Cas' face. His innocent blue eyes looking brighter than ever. Cas leaned into Dean and kissed him on the cheek. _

_The view shifted, as dreams often do, to see from a third person perspective of Dean, closing his eyes and trying to make the moment last with a shocked, yet content look on his face._

_It shifted back to Dean's_ _point of view and as he slowly opened his eyes again, he sees the pop art picture of his brother, well the alternate universe version of Sam, staring back at him with a smug grin. _

He had woken up with a start.  _What the hell was that?_ he asked himself. He mocked anger to save his dignity and to kid himself into thinking it was something unimaginable and wrong. But really, did he hate the idea all that much? 

He sat on the edge of his bed thinking about the dream. He raised his hand up to the cheek where Cas had kissed him. He almost smiled before he stopped himself. He ran his hands through his hair and got up to shower and get dressed. 


	2. Chapter 2

A few nights later, Dean had another dream about Castiel. However, this one worried Dean a lot more because it wasn't as sweet as can be as the previous one.

_Dean was sitting in the back seat of the impala watching the night sky. Instead of the distant stars that normally shined, a galaxy was shown. An enormous nebula decorated with sparkling stars filled up the sky, painted with colors of orange, pink, and green. His attention was only pulled away when_ _out of the corner of his eye_ _he saw a dark figure sitting on a bench under a tree far off in the distance. He then saw a flaming star shoot across the colorful, yet dark sky and turned his gaze to the beautiful light show before him. He sat there for a while in awe._

_Soon he heard a fluttering of wings and Castiel was sitting in the back seat  with him. Cas didn't have his iconic trench coat on or the suit jacket on underneath. He did have a white button-up on with the sleeves pushed up and a few of the top buttons were open. He looked different, without his normal gear adorning him, but Dean wasn't complaining. In fact, he looked really attractive this way. And what made it worse was that Cas knew that Dean thought that. He gave him a half smile and winked at him._

_That did it. Dean grabbed him and pulled him close. He reached his hand up to his neck and ran his hand through Cas' hair as he kissed him hard on the lips. His other hand rested on Castiel's chest and which slid up to the crook of his neck. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and placed his hands on the middle of his back and the other on his hip._

_Dean worked his mouth against Cas' roughly. He slid his tongue across Castiel's lip. Dean bit the bottom of his lip with a flourish before he slipped his tongue back into Cas, who accepted it with intense desire and ravenously gripped at Dean's shirt pulling him into himself._

Dean shot up. His face was flushed and he kept licking his lips and touching his mouth. With the breath of muttered curses trailing him, he headed to the bathroom to splash his face with some water.

\- - - -

That morning Dean was sitting on the bed of the motel room. He was compulsively taking apart, readjusting, and putting his gun back together over and over again. 

Sam sat at the small table in the front of the room with a concerned look on his face. "What's the matter?" he asked finally. 

"I don't want to talk about it." Dean said as he forced a piece back into its place with a huff.

"Whatever." Sam replied, who scoffed.

\- - - -

The next dream made Dean stress out for days afterwards.

_Dean was on a bed of pure white. Not so white it was blinding, but a soft white that was clean and comforting. It was filled with pillows and soft blankets. The bed seemed to never end and neither did the room because the white color seemed to create a haze that obscured his surroundings._

_Cas appeared out of thin air and approached the bed. He didn't have his trenchcoat or suit jacket on this time either, but he had on his white shirt and blue crooked tie. He had on some dark jeans rather than his usual black slacks and was barefoot._

_Dean swallowed hard and reached out for him. He pulled him into the bed by his tie and they laughed. A genuine laughter that conveyed sheer joy. Dean ran his hand to the small of Castiel's back and pushed him in closer. His other hand cupped his jaw and he gave him a soft kiss._

_He pulled back and ran his thumb across Cas' stubble and looked into his eyes. Dean grinned widely. He rolled them over so he was hovering over Cas. He trailed kisses up and down Castiel's neck as Cas rubbed Dean's back with one hand while he rested his other on his chest._

_Dean got up to hover over him once more to look at Cas again. He looked so young with a smile on his face, despite the fact that his eyes were crinkled, but that made him only more endearing to Dean. His hair was in disarray and it made Dean's heart pound in his chest. He lifted up his hand to cup his face again and just looked at him. He heard a faint fluttering sound, but Cas didn't move. He didn't think of it any further and went to kiss Cas deeply again._

Dean woke up, but not with a start or any alarm in him. He was still feeling the euphoria of his dream and rested there with his hand on his chest and a soft smile on his lips. 

His eyes fluttered softly open until he realized how much trouble he was in.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dean was awkwardly sitting in a strange living room in a house of a newly widowed and mourning wife. It was just another part of the same, old routine.  He was in one of his monkey suits, pretending to be an FBI agent or some sort of person with authority. He couldn't remember. He didn't really care at the moment. His foot was anxiously tapping out the beat of a Metallica song, a coping method to keep his nerves down. 

What was bothering him wasn't the fact he was committing a felony for the umpteenth time, it was that this was the first time he had seen Cas in person since his dreams started.

Cas had decided that the case Sam and Dean were working on was more than just a simple "gank-the-monster-and-done" case, he had a feeling it was connected to something bigger.

Dean tuned out for most out of his explanation because he was trying to avoid Castiel's gaze. He didn't want to get caught in that "unspoken staring contest" thing they did, especially after having those dreams. No, he figured Sam could listen to his spiel and then Cas would pop off and Dean could work it out from there. It was a comforting thought until he overheard that Cas wanted to tag along. 

Dean's head had snapped up so fast. His eyes open wide in-  _terror._ "You're going?" He asked calmly, but his shock still showed through. That was the last thing he wanted. He could barely handle a simple conversation, now he was sure Sam was gonna get him to partner up with Cas, as usual.  _Great._

"Is that a problem?" Castiel asked in confusion. "Not at all." Sam said in a casual tone. "Dean why don't you and Cas go ahead and talk to the wife of the victim? I'll head to the coroner's office." He hit the nail on the head. But there was no avoiding this now. 

"Sure, it'll be fun, buddy." Dean agreed reluctantly, grabbing at Cas on his upper arm, lingering for a second too long then quickly realizing he was acting weird. He pulled his hand away before Sam or Castiel could notice, but still frowned slightly and shook his head mentally reprimanding himself to act natural. 

They headed over to the victim's house not too long after. Cas decided to go with Dean in the impala because Sam convinced him that it would not bode well if Castiel magically appeared out of thin air in front of a grieving widow.  _Awesome._ Its not like Cas hadn't done that before.  Sam had to be working against him.

But how could he? He didn't know anything about his dreams or how he may feel about Castiel.  _Unless_ , Dean thought, _It showed through_. Dean couldn't bear the thought of Sam purposely setting him up in these situations with Cas because he thought they had chemistry. Shouldn't he go through this crisis himself before his brother started playing cupid? He also couldn't process that if so, how much is actually showing through? Is he being unintentionally, but undeniably flirty with him? What if he was making a fool out of himself and not even realizing it? And how much is it actually getting through to Cas? And what if Cas had feelings for him? How would he handle it then?  _Oh, God._ Dean was getting a headache from all these questions.

And before he knew it, they had arrived at their destination. Talk about distracted driving. At least Cas wasn't sociable enough to feel weird about the lack of conversation. 

They approached the house and showed their fake I.D.'s and were allowed in. Dean let Castiel take the lead, although in hindsight that decision was against his better judgment given the fact Cas was so inexperienced. But Dean just was not mentally or emotionally up for any of this preliminary hunting business.  

Cas did unexpectedly well and the wife had taken him on a tour around the house that would lead to the room where her husband passed. 

Dean decided to stick behind, explaining he had to use the restroom and they could go on ahead. Instead, he just stayed behind sitting in the living room. He was anxious to leave, to get this over with. He needed time away from Cas _to avoid_ \- to sort out his feelings about him. 

Cas returned to the room with the wife, smiling politely as the woman talked. Castiel looked into Dean's direction. His smile didn't seem as forced when he saw Dean again. It reached his eyes and made them crinkle at the corners. Dean had to turn away because the look of him sent Dean blushing like a schoolgirl.  _Wow, really?!_

Dean assured himself that he wasn't always this obvious, he couldn't have been. He was only acting that way because of his dreams. If he hadn't had those dreams, he would've been acting perfectly normal. But no, his twisted subconscious had to go and ruin everything and make him second guess every move he made around Cas. It was nothing, he kept trying to convince himself.

But underneath those layers of heteronormative reassurances he kept thinking,  _Sigmund Freud was one messed up son of a bitch, but he may be on to something with those dream interpretations._

Dean and Cas thanked the woman and headed out to the impala. Dean got behind the wheel and looked over for Castiel in the front seat and he wasn't there.  _Great. Did I upset him?_

Dean drove back to the motel to find that both Cas and Sam weren't there either. He sat down on his bed with his elbows resting on his kness as he assessed his situation. He put his head in his hands and realized that he may have a problem. 

He couldn't quite tell Cas about his why he was acting differently around him or he would have to explain his dreams. And that itself is a mess to sort out because it could either mean something or nothing and he couldn't risk their friendship over anything he felt that uncertain about. If it was actually something then would he want a relationship to come out of it? And was Cas an exception for him or were his dreams saying that he is swinging for both teams? 

While he couldn't say that looking back he never had these different feelings, he could say that he never thought of them in great depth. He always liked girls, always been with girls. His father would say Dean had been chasing girls since he could talk. And his Dad, he was the same way. John was a huge role model in Dean's life: they had the same taste in music, now Dean had his car, and continued the family business for him. So the real question for Dean was: Would his father accept him if he was there now? 

And honestly, Dean knew he wouldn't. John always pressured him to fit this mold and if he didn't act the right way, well... It never turned out to pretty. That was why Dean always felt this strong need to impress him. 

Did Dean really want his father to disapprove of him one more time? No. And that really was the root of all his problems in this crisis. Could he emotionally handle knowing he would be a disgrace to his own father yet again?

It was stupid and he should let himself live his own life now that he was gone, but he couldn't help it. He spent most of his life looking up to this man, believing he was doing the best he could, making excuses for him. He still felt loyal to him, as a son should, but against his own good and his own happiness. 

But should Dean suppress these feelings if does find them to be true or should he allow himself to live knowing that about his father? 


End file.
